Hurt, humiliation, anger and rejection: the emotional responses New Jersey spouses may have, after finding out the person they married was unfaithful. For some Hackensack couples, this is a marital eye-opener that doesn’t necessarily culminate in divorce. For other couples, cheating means the end of the road.
In many cases, a spouse’s infidelity is uncovered through a shocking discovery rather than a partner’s admission. Some spouses investigate suspicions of cheating, while others learn of it by accident. The Internet, particularly social media sites, has made it convenient for so-inclined spouses to stray and equally easy to track down evidence of cheating.
Since many spouses share passwords, cheating proof may be available through a few easy clicks to websites, emails, images and comments. However, unfaithful spouses often work hard to erase any proof of marital misbehavior by blocking or deleting computer or smartphone information. The wronged spouse should preserve evidence through screenshots and photographs as soon as possible.
Emotions can govern the day when infidelity is uncovered. You may want to keep the discovery confidential temporarily until you’ve had a chance to sort out some of these feelings with or without the help of a professional counselor. An attorney’s empathy and straightforward advice also can be comforting at this stressful time and later if you choose to separate or divorce.
Parents must consider how this will impact children but blurting out raw feelings isn’t recommended. Try to realize the news of a parent’s infidelity is not something children want to know or can understand. This is an adult problem with adult solutions.
Once the initial storm of personal emotions blows over, you and your spouse will need to talk. Calm is advised but may not be easy to maintain. The answers you seek may not be the ones your get, although some couples eventually find a way to clear the air and start over.
Source: The Huffington Post, “Cheating Spouse? 5 Things You Need to Do Now” Carla Schiff Donnelly, Jul. 24, 2014