Defusing co-parenting problems after divorce

The legal process attached to a marital break-up can make Bergen County spouses feel as if they’ve been put through a wringer. Divorce can hit hard at many levels, no matter who take the first steps toward the end of a marriage. Along with decisions about property division and alimony, divorcing parents must grapple with child support, custody and visitation issues.

Co-parenting is required to raise the children ex-spouses share, a task that can be uncomfortable or sometimes nearly impossible for some divorced parents. Former spouses often have difficulty overcoming leftover emotions, particularly just after a marriage has ended. However, parenting responsibilities cannot be put on hold.

Parents who’ve been divorced have developed ways to make co-parenting a little less stressful. For instance, communicating electronically may be preferable for parents with troubles seeing or speaking directly to an ex-spouse. You can write an email dealing specifically with child-related issues like school, extracurricular activities and behavior without a lot of emotional involvement – you can’t take back spoken words, but you can edit emails.

Getting beyond the marriage and committing to raising children can be made easier by taking a new approach to your relationship with an ex. A former spouse is still your partner as far as the children are concerned, but that doesn’t mean an ex holds any other title other than co-parent. It may be beneficial to adopt a businesslike manner, including all the requisite politeness that goes with it, when dealing with an ex.

Other suggestions include getting rid of emotional triggers — physical reminders an ex left behind. Keep solid records of child-related expenses, visits and parental interactions for legal purposes. Make sure children’s emotional concerns are addressed through individual or family therapy, if necessary.

Contact an attorney, if you remain in a dispute with an ex despite efforts to avoid one. You may be able to resolve issues through mediation.

Source: The Huffington Post, “7 Small Things That Can Make Divorce A Little Less Stressful,” Brittany Wong, June 09, 2015