Divorce splits up families and affects the most precious of relationships—the one between parents and children. As a responsible and loving parent, you want to nurture that precious bond by spending time with your child and being involved in major decisions regarding their welfare and upbringing.
Joint custody arrangements, also called “shared custody,” keep both parents as equally involved as possible in their child’s life after divorce. It is also a priority of the New Jersey court when making child custody decisions that parents share in child-rearing responsibilities.
TYPES OF JOINT CUSTODY ARRANGEMENTS
There are various types of joint custody arrangements in New Jersey. They include:
- Joint legal custody – Both parents share in major decision-making about the child regarding education, medical care, religious upbringing, and other critical areas. It’s the preferred custody arrangement of the court if it is in the best interests of the children.
- Joint physical or residential custody – In joint physical or residential custody arrangements, the child alternates living with both parents as equally as possible, in accordance with the established parenting time schedule.
- Joint legal custody with one parent having primary physical custody – The logistics of moving back and forth from one home to another may not be practical and may even be detrimental to some children. Often in joint custody arrangements, both parents will have legal decision-making authority, but the child will spend more of their time with one parent. The parent who doesn’t have the child as often is the parent of alternate residence and may pay child support.
Sole legal and physical custody are also possible in some cases. These situations are rare. However, there are circumstances where it might be appropriate for a child not to see the other parent or for that parent not to have any say in the decision-making for the child.
HOW IS JOINT CUSTODY DECIDED?
The core issue in making joint custody decisions is the child’s best interests. Custody can be negotiated between parents or determined by the court if parents are not in agreement.
Negotiating Joint Custody
If both parents agree to a joint custody arrangement, they can consent and put their agreement down on paper. Then, that agreement can become a court order by requesting that the judge sign it. Should the parents want to make changes to their consent agreement later, they may do so without going back to the court, but they both must agree. Best practices would be for them to put the new arrangement down on paper again and have it notarized.
Litigating Child Custody
When parents cannot agree on custody arrangements, a New Jersey judge will make the decision. In determining custody, and whether joint custody should be awarded, judges consider many factors as described in NJSA 9:2-4(c). Some of the factors include:
- The parents’ ability to agree, communicate, and cooperate concerning their child
- The interaction and relationship of the child with parents and siblings
- The child’s needs
- The home environment’s stability
- The parents’ fitness
- How far apart the parents’ homes are
- The quality and quantity of the time spent with the child before or after the parents’ separation
- The parents’ job responsibilities.
Going through the complicated legal process alone can put you at a serious disadvantage in joint custody decisions. With so much at stake, it is very important to get guidance from an experienced family law attorney. Even if you and the other parent agree on the custody arrangement, your attorney can review the agreement to make sure your interests and those of your child are well protected.
TIPS FOR MAKING JOINT CUSTODY WORK
Parents who are in joint custody situations must make it work for the sake of their children. Here are some tips toward maintaining a shared custody arrangement that is to your children’s benefit and yours:
- Don’t speak poorly about your ex. Your child loves you both and may internalize the bad things you say about the other parent. They may begin to feel anger toward that parent or toward you.
- Remember that joint custody is about your child’s well-being. It was awarded to you because a court believed it was in your child’s best interests to have both you and your ex in your child’s life. Don’t make it about winning a competition with your ex.
- Find a positive way to communicate with your ex-spouse about your child, whether it’s through texting, emailing, or phone calls. But if things appear to be taking a sour turn, save written communications and take notes about phone conversations in case you need these as evidence.
- Be fair and flexible with your parenting arrangements and consider modifying them as your child’s interests change, family schedules change, and other commitments arise.
- Don’t fight over small issues involving your child. Pick your battles wisely, but also stay resolute on the issues you feel strongly about, such as school choices, healthcare matters, or infringements on your parenting time.
- Listen to your child and let them express their feelings about the divorce and custody arrangements. Depending on how old they are, you might even allow them some say in decisions.
Text below video: This educational video was brought to you by Carrie Schultz, an experienced New Jersey child custody lawyer.
CONTACT OUR SKILLED CUSTODY LAWYERS IN NEW JERSEY FOR HELP
Our child custody lawyers know it can be tough to navigate parenting after divorce. To get help in negotiating a joint child custody agreement or, if need be, litigating one in the courtroom, contact [MFR] Men’s & Fathers’ Rights Divorce Lawyers in Hackensack. Having a skilled, experienced, and compassionate attorney who knows how to protect the rights of you and your children is a great first step toward reaching a joint custody arrangement that works well.
Call us at (201) 880-9770 to schedule a confidential case evaluation. We are here for you whether you’re pursuing joint legal and/or physical custody or you wish to modify a joint custody agreement that is no longer appropriate.
