Deciding to divorce is a deeply personal and often painful decision. While the emotional toll can be significant, understanding ahead of time how to start and navigate the process can bring clarity and reduce stress. While the first official step is filing the divorce complaint, you don’t have to start there. Depending on your relationship with your spouse, you may be able to negotiate key issues before any legal paperwork is filed, which could help to simplify and expedite your divorce.
An experienced divorce lawyer can help you evaluate your options for beginning the process, helping ensure your case begins on solid legal footing.
Negotiating Issues Before Filing for Divorce
Many couples begin the divorce process by working out its major terms before anything is officially filed with the court. Doing so can reduce legal fees, ease emotional tension, and help lay the groundwork for a smoother legal journey.
Benefits of Early Negotiation
- Minimized conflict: Negotiating terms in advance often sets a more cooperative tone, which is especially important when children are involved.
- Lower costs: Avoiding contentious litigation or drawn-out court battles can significantly reduce the expense of divorce.
- Greater control and privacy: Spouses maintain more control over the outcome and avoid public court appearances that can expose private matters.
- Faster resolution: Reaching agreement early can make it more likely that the divorce will proceed on an uncontested basis, although this isn’t always the case because disputes can arise before settlement.
Issues that Can Be Negotiated
Couples can discuss and reach tentative or even binding agreements on most major issues, including:
- Property division
- Alimony
- Child custody and parenting time
- Child support
- Health insurance
- Tax implications and future financial planning
If both spouses are open to compromising, it’s possible to resolve many of these issues before ever stepping foot in court.
Negotiating Agreement Before Filing
Sometimes spouses are able to reach agreement between themselves, without any professional assistance. But even if you are able to do so, you should have your agreement reviewed by your attorney before signing to ensure your interests are safeguarded.
In other cases, help is needed to get to agreement. Your respective attorneys can work with you to negotiate a fair settlement on the issues. Once consensus is reached, your lawyer can draft the agreement to document the terms.
Mediation is also sometimes used to help spouses reach agreement. In this process, a neutral and trained third party mediator facilitates discussion toward encouraging compromise. While mediators cannot provide legal advice, they can guide you toward practical and workable solutions.
When Negotiation May Not Be Viable
There are circumstances in which settlement outside of court may not be an option. In situations involving domestic violence, substance abuse, or a significant imbalance of power or knowledge, negotiation may not be possible—or even safe. And sometimes, there is just too much contention between spouses to make coming to the bargaining table a possibility. In such cases, it’s critical to consult with a divorce attorney who can protect your rights, and if necessary, secure appropriate court orders, such as restraining orders or financial safeguards.
Understanding the Initial Filing: The Complaint for Divorce
To initiate the official process, you or your spouse will a complaint for divorce with the Superior Court of New Jersey. This is the formal legal document that begins the court’s involvement in your divorce. To file for divorce, except in the case of adultery grounds, you or your spouse must have lived in the state for at least one year.
Grounds for Divorce In New Jersey
In your complaint, you will need to state the reason, or grounds, for divorcing. New Jersey allows for both no-fault and fault-based divorces.
No-fault grounds include:
- Irreconcilable differences, which must have existed for at least six months, with no reasonable prospect of reconciliation.
- Separation: You must have lived apart for at least 18 consecutive months.
Fault-based grounds include:
- Adultery
- Desertion
- Extreme cruelty
- Drug or alcohol addiction
- Institutionalization for mental illness
- Imprisonment
- Deviant sexual behavior
While fault-based grounds are less commonly used today, they may be relevant in cases where one party’s conduct significantly impacted the family or financial situation. You can read details for all the grounds here: N.J.S.A. 2A:34-2.
The complaint will also include the outstanding issues that you want the judge to decide. If you’ve reached settlement prior to filing, you may wish to include the agreement with the complaint.
Serving the Complaint
After the divorce complaint is filed, it must be properly served on the other spouse. Your spouse will then have 35 days to respond by filing an answer, a counterclaim, or a notice of appearance. Your attorney can advise you of next steps based on your spouse’s response. If your spouse does not file a response by the deadline, the judge may grant the divorce issues in your favor.
Even if initial negotiations did not produce a final settlement agreement, filing the complaint does not mean you cannot still settle. In fact, most divorces are resolved through settlement, even after court proceedings have begun.
The Role of Your Divorce Attorney in the Early Stages
Whether you’re planning to negotiate before filing or need to take immediate legal action, your attorney can help you in myriad ways early in the process including:
- Advising you on the best grounds to file under for your situation
- Helping you prepare or respond to the complaint accurately and strategically
- Counseling you about your legal rights and responsibilities
- Representing you in negotiations, mediation, or court
- Drafting or reviewing the agreement to ensure fairness and enforceability
- Helping protect your children’s best interests in custody disputes
Contact A Knowledgeable New Jersey Attorney for Guidance in Starting the Divorce Process
When you’re considering divorce, it’s essential to speak with a knowledgeable attorney early. Whether you’re ready to file or hope to resolve issues amicably through negotiation or mediation, a legal professional can help you protect your interests and guide you through this challenging life transition.
For experienced divorce assistance in New Jersey, contact [MFR] Men’s & Fathers’ Rights Divorce Lawyers at (201) 880-9770 to schedule a confidential consultation. We’re here to help you make informed decisions and start your next chapter with clarity and confidence.
