There is no doubt that going through divorce is stressful. Emotions often run very high between two people who once imagined a happy life together and are now at odds and breaking up. Anger and frustration you feel can mentally and physically impact your health. Negative emotions such as these can also cause you to say or do things in front of your spouse, family and friends, or even the judge, that can influence how your divorce proceeds and resolves.
Additionally, divorcing involves making numerous decisions about property division, alimony, and children’s concerns if you are parents. How you approach decision-making will have a long-term effect on your life going forward. Decisions made from a place of anger or vengeance may be made in haste or for all the wrong reasons.
By practicing strategies to help you stay emotionally in control, you can navigate divorce with a calm and rational mind, which can help smoothe the path in the divorce process.
STRATEGIES FOR CONTROLLING EMOTIONS DURING DIVORCE
Divorce marks the end of a life together and the end of the dream of how you thought your life would go. It isn’t surprising that strong emotions can arise, including grief, sadness, shock, guilt, fear, resentment, rage, jealousy, and anger. Feelings can also fluctuate from day to day—one day you may be doing okay and then you get a call from your spouse that sends you into an emotional tailspin. If this happens, take deep breaths and think before you speak and say something potentially damaging.
The following strategies can help you maintain more overall calm and stay in better control of your emotions during your divorce.
ALLOW YOURSELF TO GRIEVE THE END OF YOUR MARRIAGE
According to the Holmes-Rahe Life Stress Inventory, which is used by mental health professionals to measure stress, only the death of a loved one is a more stressful event than divorce. When a loved one dies, you go through a period of grief. The same is true when your marriage dies. Allow yourself the space privately or in the company of trusted individuals to acknowledge your feelings.
TAKE CARE OF YOUR HEALTH
Do not neglect your physical health. Get enough sleep, eat healthy foods, avoid drinking too much alcohol, and get exercise. Even taking a walk can help to reduce feelings of anxiety. Keep up with your doctor and dentist appointments. Keep up with favorite activities and hobbies. Spend time socializing with friends and family. Do not isolate yourself.
PRACTICE RELAXATION TECHNIQUES
There are various relaxation techniques that can help reduce stress and instill calmness. They include deep breathing, meditation, Tai Chi, yoga, listening to soothing music, reading an escapist novel, aromatherapy, massage, progressive muscle relaxation, visualization, and autogenic relaxation, in which you lower stress using visual imagery and body awareness.
JOIN A DIVORCE SUPPORT GROUP
Join a support group to connect with others who are divorcing. You may find that learning about the experiences of other people who are undergoing divorce and knowing that you are not alone can help you better handle your own feelings.
CONSIDER MENTAL HEALTH THERAPY
A therapist can help you understand the emotions you feel and learn how to better process them. You will also have a safe and confidential place to vent your anger, frustration, and other complex emotions, which may help keep you from venting in inappropriate settings where your words could potentially be used against you. Your therapist can teach you tips for controlling anger in the moment so that it doesn’t erupt when dealing with your spouse or the legal system.
HOW BEING PREPARED CAN HELP KEEP YOU CALM DURING THE DIVORCE PROCESS
Understanding the steps ahead in divorce and being prepared for them can help to relieve anxiety about the divorce process and keep you more calm and confident while undergoing it.
Here are ways to prepare:
- Think about what your goals are and what you wish to get out of the divorce. Be sure to keep in mind that, whether in a settlement or in court, you will not get everything you want—be prepared so that you don’t feel surprised and can better remain calm during negotiations or in court proceedings.
- Gather and organize all financial information, including for both assets and debts, and other relevant documents—if you are moving out of the home, make copies before you do so.
- Take a look at your social media accounts and remove any negative postings about your spouse or divorce—consider staying off social media so that you are not tempted to angrily vent on it. Also, watch what you say in emails, text messages, and even over the phone.
- Engage the help of an experienced divorce lawyer who will advocate for your rights—knowing you have an effective legal representative who will look out for your best interests during the complex process can help promote a sense of calm. If needed, your attorney can also help you identify resources for learning relaxation techniques and strategies.
Additionally, by being prepared for divorce, you can position yourself for a better outcome in issues of property division, alimony, and children’s issues if you have minor children.
GET LEGAL SUPPORT FROM AN EXPERIENCED DIVORCE LAWYER
We know that when you are going through divorce, you are facing an emotional and anxious time. We hope that the tips discussed here will help you to stay calm and emotionally in control during this difficult process.
Our attorneys at [MFR] Men’s & Fathers’ Rights Divorce Lawyers in Hackensack focus on helping New Jersey clients navigate the ends of their marriages in the smoothest and least stressful way possible, while still achieving the best possible outcomes for their situations. We knowledgeably handle all types of divorce matters, including complex high-net-worth cases.
If you are looking for a supportive and trustworthy law firm to help you navigate the stresses of divorce, you have come to the right place. To arrange a confidential consultation, call our law firm today at (201) 880-9770.
