If you’ve been served divorce papers, are considering initiating a divorce, or are just concerned that your marriage is nearing its end, it may be time to start preparing. You might begin to feel so wrapped up in the emotional difficulty of the divorce itself that it feels impossible to focus on anything else.
However, preparing for a divorce largely involves thinking about what you want to protect during the process and gaining a clear picture of your desired outcome. Not sure where to start? Here’s a checklist of things to consider.
When it comes to divorce, it can be hard to know what to expect. Taking the time to consider what you want and identify potential roadblocks can help you and your divorce lawyer create a strategy for success.
1. What Assets Do You Most Want to Protect?
Plan and Prioritize
In New Jersey, marital property is divided equitably, meaning that the court divides assets in a way that is fair to both spouses. However, what is fair isn’t always equal. You may not be able to keep all of the assets you want to, so it’s wise to prioritize:
- Start by listing your assets.
- Make a note of which assets are likely classified as marital property.
- Make a note of mortgages, auto loans, and any other debts associated with your assets.
- List the assets you most want to keep.
- Evaluate the remaining assets and identify those you are willing to let go.
In order to divide marital property appropriately, you need to have an accurate appraisal of every asset. If you have any assets that will require special valuations (like fine art or high-end antiques), you should let your attorney know.
2. Can You and Your Spouse Negotiate in Good Faith?
Your relationship with your spouse will have a major impact on your divorce proceedings. If you have an amicable relationship and can calmly discuss your differences, a collaborative divorce may be best for everyone. If negotiating directly with your spouse won’t be practical, your attorney might suggest you work with a mediator. And if your relationship is so acrimonious that you can’t have a civil discussion, your divorce might ultimately need to be decided in court.
Whatever the nature of your relationship with your spouse may be, make sure you’re completely honest with your attorney. When your lawyer has an accurate and complete picture of your relationship, they can help you plan the best way to resolve your divorce.
3. What Will Your Spouse’s Goals Be?
In many ways, a divorce is like a tennis match. Part of having an effective plan is understanding and anticipating your opponent’s strategy. While you can’t know exactly what your spouse is planning, it’s wise to consider the following:
- What assets will your spouse likely want to keep?
- How could you compromise on assets you both want?
- Do you think your spouse will seek alimony?
- Do you think your spouse could try to conceal assets?
The last point is a particularly important one to bring up to your attorney. If you have reason to believe your spouse is hiding assets, your attorney may be able to conduct additional discovery or take further steps to locate those assets.
4. How Will You Protect Your Relationship With Your Children?
Do you want to seek primary custody of your children? Do you want joint custody but fear your spouse will try to keep your children from you? In either case, you should start making a plan by asking yourself the following:
- How much time will you realistically be able to spend with your children after divorce?
- How can you demonstrate to the court that staying with you is in your children’s best interests?
- How might your spouse argue that staying with you is not in your children’s best interests?
- How will you meet your children’s emotional and financial needs?
Child custody and child support are some of the most hotly contested points of any divorce, but an experienced attorney can help find a solution that’s right for your family. Call [MFR] Men’s & Fathers’ Rights Divorce Lawyers at (201) 880-9770 to book your case evaluation — we offer convenient phone, video, or in-person consultations.
5. Are There Any Unique or Complicating Circumstances?
Some divorces are more complicated than others. Your divorce attorney will be able to help you navigate the complexities of your situation, but the sooner they know about them, the better. These are some of the factors that might make your divorce more complex:
- You own a business, your spouse owns a business, or you own one together.
- You have vacated your family home (or your spouse has).
- You or your spouse have considerable debt.
- You or your spouse have significant retirement assets.
- You signed a prenuptial or postnuptial agreement.
- Your spouse was abusive to you (or you were abusive to your spouse).
- You or your spouse have issues with alcohol or drug dependence.
- You or your spouse have had affairs.
Some of these circumstances — particularly infidelity, substance use, and emotional or physical abuse — can be difficult to talk about. Remember that your divorce lawyer is not here to judge you. Their primary goal is to look out for your interests and help you achieve your desired outcome in your divorce.
Are You Preparing for Divorce?
Finding the Right Divorce Lawyer Should Be First on Your Checklist
The items on the checklist above can help you prepare for divorce, but they aren’t only for your benefit. The right divorce lawyer will help protect your rights, and when they have a clear picture of your goals, they’ll be able to help you strategize the best ways to achieve them. When you’re going through a life-changing event like this one, you need an attorney you can count on. At MFR, our team has years of experience advocating for men going through divorce.
Whether your divorce is underway or you’re planning to file, MFR is here for you. Call us at (201) 880-9770 to book your confidential case evaluation today.
