Irreconcilable Differences

What You Should Know About Irreconcilable Differences in a NJ Divorce

Please Note: Our practice focuses on cases that occur in New Jersey.

Filing for divorce on the grounds of irreconcilable differences in New Jersey has continued to be a popular option in recent years amongst troubled marriages, but many couples are continuously encouraged to undergo their divorce proceedings on these grounds without having a full comprehension of what “irreconcilable differences” technically means.

Vocabulary is always an essential aspect of any divorce process, which is why it’s important for all individuals undergoing a divorce to take the time to research specific terms, like irreconcilable differences. Understanding the fundamentals of divorce principles will help you understand what these terms may represent for your marriage.

Our team of New Jersey divorce lawyers has assisted with countless divorce settlements that have been filed on the grounds of irreconcilable differences, and we’re always here to help individuals and families better understand if irreconcilable differences are the right cause to file under for divorce for you and your spouse.

If you’re currently undergoing a divorce settlement and are confused upon what grounds you and your spouse should file for, contact us for an initial consultation so we can better understand your situation and put you in the best position for the most successful divorce settlement.

What are Irreconcilable Differences?

“Irreconcilable differences” technically means that an individual and their spouse cannot get along with one another enough to keep the marriage alive, and this lack of getting along can cause a whole array of other issues in the marriage. It doesn’t necessarily matter what exactly caused a rift within the marriage because irreconcilable differences simply mean that the marriage isn’t fixable due and the differences between each spouse are too great.

There are instances in which people simply feel as though they cannot sustain their marriage because of whatever issues they’re experiencing.  This coincides with the fact that you don’t need to come to a mutual agreement as to why you are divorcing your spouse if you file under irreconcilable differences. 

Filing for divorce for reasons of irreconcilable differences is common in New Jersey; what differentiates irreconcilable differences is that it is really another way to categorize your divorce as a no-fault divorce. This means that the cause for divorce cannot be blamed upon one spouse, like in at-fault divorces where one spouse would allege abuse and adultery.

Even so, At-fault divorces may not have an impact on the issues in a divorce like division of property, child custody, alimony and much more. There are always exceptions to this, of course!

5 Common Irreconcilable Differences

Every person has certain opinions, habits, upbringings, and different personalities that contribute to who we are– all of which can eventually lead to a breakdown of the marriage. 

When a couple claims irreconcilable differences as “the cause” for their divorce proceeding, it essentially means that they cannot work out their issues in order to regain a healthy future. This includes failed attempts at trying to rectify their differences through therapy and other types of marriage counseling.

The overall reasons why a couple may file for irreconcilable differences can always vary significantly, but the following are 5 common irreconcilable differences:

1. Finances 

Money can be a sensitive subject for all married couples. This is because each spouse will bring their own ideas as to the protocol of and how expenses should be made, etc. Familial finances can be even trickier to agree upon when only one spouse has a consistent income source.

Some married couples undergo serious conflicts when it comes to debt accumulation, remaining on a steady budget, managing property, selling assets, and so much more. There are a variety of ways in which financial tension can lead to irreconcilable differences. 

2. Parenting 

For the most part, we base our parenting beliefs on how we were raised as children, and when a married couple is brought up within different styles of parenting it can lead to a communication breakdown between them when children become a part of the familial equation. Spouses may disagree upon the best ways to parent the children, plan for their futures, or how to discipline the children. 

Parenting can be a very contentious aspect of any marital relationship, and having differences in this part of a marriage can quickly erode healthy communication with one another.

3. Religion 

Being married to someone who has opposing religious views can make it rather difficult to be in alignment during the marriage. There are many situations in which religion doesn’t seem like a big difference at the beginning of a relationship, but this can quickly change when religion is involved with how a couple plans to raise their children.

Sometimes both spouses will hold very firmly to their differing religious faiths, which can make the maintaining of marriage very difficult. 

4. Extended Family Relationships 

Having difficult in-laws is a very common reason for irreconcilable differences. This may be a result of a spouse wanting to spend more (or less)  time with their family then you’d prefer. There are many instances in which a strenuous extended family relationship will create a divide within a marriage.

5. Communication 

Many of the above irreconcilable differences stem from dysfunctional or ineffective (or none at all) marital communication. There are plenty of people who get together and married that start off having poor communication skills.  This can get worse as a marriage age if it is not worked on early.

This can make problem-solving very difficult during the marriage– or even having the most simple conversation seem tremendously difficult. Communication breakdowns and frequent arguments can make marriages unbearable to stay in, which commonly leads to divorce. 

What is a No Fault Divorce?

• In the state of New Jersey, you don’t need a reason to get divorced
• No fault divorce means there are irreconcilable differences between the two spouses

The Benefits of a No-Fault Divorce Settlement

Irreconcilable differences are very common and the biggest benefit to doing this is that you do not air out your personal drama to the world.  There is enough to discuss in attempting to get divorced, why also argue over the reason why! Filing for Divorce under irreconcilable differences can save money on attorney fees and avoid having to prove the reason for the divorce, in addition to discussing all of the issues in order to get divorced.

Fully Understand Your Differences Before You File

It’s important that you speak to a qualified attorney about all of this and the possibility of filing under irreconcilable differences. 

Some marital issues simply cannot be worked out, no matter how much you put into trying to find resolutions.  The point here is that each one of you has a right to be happy and live a good life. If that is not happening in your marriage, it is okay to say so and move forward.

Speak in Confidence with a New Jersey Men’s Rights Divorce Lawyer

If you are seriously considering divorce within New Jersey on the grounds of irreconcilable differences, then it’s crucial that you seek out experienced legal assistance to assist you.

Our attorneys have decades of experience when it comes to handling all types of divorce proceedings and family law matters and we welcome the opportunity to speak with you so you should contact us for your initial consultation.

Once we have a thorough understanding of your current situation, we’ll be able to put you and your family on the right track towards a divorce settlement that works for all involved parties.

Carrie S. Schultz, Esq. – author

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